Useless Internet

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Often people cannot move on because they cannot yet grieve… In neuroplastic terms, if the romantic or the widow is to begin a new relationship without baggage, each must first rewire billions of connections in their brains. The world of mourning is piecemeal, Freud noted… We grieve by calling up one memory at a time, reliving it, and then letting it go
This does not bode well for me. Oh well. The quote is from an extremely interesting post about a book I just ordered from the library on CD to keep me company on the way to work. Maybe I can do some driving and rewiring at the same time. Weren’t they big in the eighties?

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Things I Have Learned Reading Prevention Magazine

  • Avoid Plastic Containers of all kinds — the BPA in them will kill you
  • Eat Organic fruits and vegetables always — the pesticides used on the regular stuff will kill you
  • If you must eat meat, eat only certified grass-fed, non-antibiotic fed, locally grown beef from cows and chickens you know personally — all other meat will kill you
  • Exercise every day — missing a day will kill you
  • Don’t stress over little things — worrying about unnecessary dangers will kill you

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Jackson’s Theory of Relativity

Amount of Time it takes for an email to be replied to if I need the answer RIGHT NOW THIS MINUTE: approximately 4 days

Amount of Time it takes for an email to be replied to I said I’m including an attachment and then forget to attach the document: <20 milliseconds

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thedailywhat: Smarter Than Average Bear of the Day: Larkspur, Colorado-resident Ben Story accidentally left a PB&amp;J sandwich in his car, attracting a decent-sized American black bear, who proceeded take the four-door Toyota sedan out for a quick drive.  From KMGH Denver: Ben’s father, Ralph, said the bear hit the shifter and the car rolled backward about 125 feet, off the driveway, down an embankment and into some trees on Eagle Road near Tenderfoot Drive.“So this bear opened the door on his own. Somehow the door closed behind him. He panicked and started thrashing around, hit the shifter and put the car, took it out of park,” Ralph said. “It rolled back, down over the hill, and down into here, and stopped. The four way flashers were on. It’s like he knew what was going on, and kept hitting the horn.” [boingboing.]

thedailywhat:

Smarter Than Average Bear of the Day: Larkspur, Colorado-resident Ben Story accidentally left a PB&J sandwich in his car, attracting a decent-sized American black bear, who proceeded take the four-door Toyota sedan out for a quick drive. 

From KMGH Denver:

Ben’s father, Ralph, said the bear hit the shifter and the car rolled backward about 125 feet, off the driveway, down an embankment and into some trees on Eagle Road near Tenderfoot Drive.

“So this bear opened the door on his own. Somehow the door closed behind him. He panicked and started thrashing around, hit the shifter and put the car, took it out of park,” Ralph said. “It rolled back, down over the hill, and down into here, and stopped. The four way flashers were on. It’s like he knew what was going on, and kept hitting the horn.”

[boingboing.]

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Proof that your thoughts aren’t always reality

I heard this yesterday on tv:

“This day I completed my thirty first year, and conceived that I had in all human probability now existed about half the period which I am to remain in this Sublunary world. I reflected that I had as yet done but little, very little, indeed, to further the happiness of the human race, or to advance the information of the succeeding generation. I viewed with regret the many hours I have spent in indolence, and now soarly feel the want of that information which those hours would have given me had they been judiciously expended. but since they are past and cannot be recalled, I dash from me the gloomy thought, and resolved in future, to redouble my exertions and at least endeavour to promote those two primary objects of human existence, by giving them the aid of that portion of talents which nature and fortune have bestowed on me: or in future, to live for mankind, as I have heretofore lived for myself.”

Meriwether Lewis wrote that on his 31st birthday. At the time, he had just crossed the Continental Divide and days earlier managed to finally acquire enough horses for his men so they could complete the mission and have a chance at success. Sometimes we’re not the best judge of we’ve accomplished so far.

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Chart Love

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thedailywhat: Things That Are All Too Real of the Day: On first look, the iPad Style Shirt appears to be not a single lick more than a regular heavyweight cotton tee with a dinky vinyl-screened pocket on the front intended for the completely unnecessary practice of intrusively broadcasting the contents of your iPad to the world. But wait!: “2 hidden port holes on the inside for headphones or charger.” (i.e. holes). “Internal supports distribute weight of iPad across the body to prevent shirt distortion.” (LOLWUT.) “Full mobility whether you are sitting down or walking.” (This was not at all a given!) All this and so much less for only $50. May God have mercy on our souls. [technabob.]

thedailywhat:

Things That Are All Too Real of the Day: On first look, the iPad Style Shirt appears to be not a single lick more than a regular heavyweight cotton tee with a dinky vinyl-screened pocket on the front intended for the completely unnecessary practice of intrusively broadcasting the contents of your iPad to the world. But wait!:

  • “2 hidden port holes on the inside for headphones or charger.” (i.e. holes).
  • “Internal supports distribute weight of iPad across the body to prevent shirt distortion.” (LOLWUT.)
  • “Full mobility whether you are sitting down or walking.” (This was not at all a given!)

All this and so much less for only $50. May God have mercy on our souls.

[technabob.]

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All too, all too, all too true. (Although this morning I dreamed that I got distracted while driving my kids somewhere and went into the back of the car to play a board game with my daughter. Guess I don&#8217;t feel like I&#8217;ve been being a good enough adult.) thedailywhat: [reddit.]
All too, all too, all too true. (Although this morning I dreamed that I got distracted while driving my kids somewhere and went into the back of the car to play a board game with my daughter. Guess I don’t feel like I’ve been being a good enough adult.)

thedailywhat:

[reddit.]

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thedailywhat:

Meanwhile In Japan of the Day: Courtesy of Japan Culture Lab’s “The Japanese Tradition” video series: Everything you always wanted to know about the Japanese art of apologizing - but were too busy apologizing incorrectly to ask.

[pinktentacle.]

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Tons of Oil Seeps into Gulf of Mexico Each Year

I was fascinated by this article that I read today in NASA’s Earth Observatory because it answered a question that has puzzled me since tar balls have started washing up on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico earlier this spring: If that stuff is bad and unusual (and I definitely believe it is), then just what the hell has been covering my legs in tar when I swam in the Gulf of Mexico for all these years?

For my whole life, I’ve preferred the Gulf in June and July and the Atlantic in August and September because if you swam in Gulf after a bad storm or a hurricane, you’d come out with your legs covered in tar with seaweed sticking to it and that crap was impossible to get off and it was all gross and icky and just not pleasant, but it’s not like I ever thought to myself, “Hey! I wonder if this is bad for me?” I always just thought the Gulf had tar at the bottom that a storm would stir up, but then after the BP accident, I became convinced that oil companies had been spilling oil in the ocean for years and it had all been covered up.

As it turns out, my initial theory was correct. There is oil at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico (which is why they drill for it there, duh) and lots of it seeps out through cracks in the ocean floor each year. According to the article:

“On water, oil has this wonderful property of spreading out really thin,” said Mitchell. “A gallon of oil can spread over a square mile very quickly.” So what ends up on the surface is an incredibly thin slick, impossible to see with the human eye and harmless to marine animals.

Not always, dude, but I do feel reassured.

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unsustainable: fuckyeahstephencolbert:fujiidom: Stephen: Can I take you to task for something, for a second? Everyone: Sure. Stephen: In one of your songs, you have the lyrics: Who gives a fuck about an oxford comma? Ezra: Yes. Stephen: I’m here to tell you, I do. Shall we explain what an oxford comma is to the people? Ezra: Oh. It’s always a little tough to explain… an oxford comma would be a comma that you’d put before the and or the or, at the end of a list. Stephen: Red, white, and blue. Ezra: Exactly. Stephen: I mean, red comma white comma and blue. Ezra: Do you really need the comma? Stephen: Yes, you do need the comma. Ezra: Why do you need the comma? Stephen: Because otherwise it’s: red, white and blue. Our flag is not red, white and blue. That’s red and baby blue! Ezra: There are situations where it’s necessary. Stephen: All situations. All of them except it’s, like, a law firm. That’s every other— No, listen, have you heard of Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style? Ezra: Yes. Stephen: Heard of that? I refer you to… [opens book] page fucking two: In a series of three or more terms with a single conjunction, use a comma after each term. [snaps book shut in Ezra’s face] Ezra: Yeah, but I mean— Stephen: Does that sting? That’s E.B. White, you heard of him? Ezra: Respect to Strunk and White, but it’s just protocol. It’s not— there’s no real reason. Stephen: Yeah, it’s language. Why don’t you just take all punctuation out, be like the Romans? Ezra: Sometimes we do. Stephen: Really? Ezra: I mean, we’re a band. Y’know? [shrugs] Stephen: I weep for our nation. But, I do enjoy your music. Will you stick around and do one of your songs that is properly punctuated? Ezra: We’ll see. Stephen: All right, we’ll be right back with a performance from Vampire comma Weekend! The Colbert Report, 06/03/10 I have been waiting for this interview my whole life since I first heard this song. Thank you, Stephen. Thank you.

unsustainable:

fuckyeahstephencolbert:fujiidom:

Stephen: Can I take you to task for something, for a second?
Everyone: Sure.
Stephen: In one of your songs, you have the lyrics: Who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?
Ezra: Yes.
Stephen: I’m here to tell you, I do. Shall we explain what an oxford comma is to the people?
Ezra: Oh. It’s always a little tough to explain… an oxford comma would be a comma that you’d put before the and or the or, at the end of a list.
Stephen: Red, white, and blue.
Ezra: Exactly.
Stephen: I mean, red comma white comma and blue.
Ezra: Do you really need the comma?
Stephen: Yes, you do need the comma.
Ezra: Why do you need the comma?
Stephen: Because otherwise it’s: red, white and blue. Our flag is not red, white and blue. That’s red and baby blue!
Ezra: There are situations where it’s necessary.
Stephen: All situations. All of them except it’s, like, a law firm. That’s every other— No, listen, have you heard of Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style?
Ezra: Yes.
Stephen: Heard of that? I refer you to… [opens book] page fucking two: In a series of three or more terms with a single conjunction, use a comma after each term. [snaps book shut in Ezra’s face]
Ezra: Yeah, but I mean—
Stephen: Does that sting? That’s E.B. White, you heard of him?
Ezra: Respect to Strunk and White, but it’s just protocol. It’s not— there’s no real reason.
Stephen: Yeah, it’s language. Why don’t you just take all punctuation out, be like the Romans?
Ezra: Sometimes we do.
Stephen: Really?
Ezra: I mean, we’re a band. Y’know? [shrugs]
Stephen: I weep for our nation. But, I do enjoy your music. Will you stick around and do one of your songs that is properly punctuated?
Ezra: We’ll see.
Stephen: All right, we’ll be right back with a performance from Vampire comma Weekend!

The Colbert Report, 06/03/10

I have been waiting for this interview my whole life since I first heard this song. Thank you, Stephen. Thank you.